This morning I awoke feeling a bit better than yesterday. I thought get up & set on with it girl. One hour later I was back to feeling low, on edge & miserable. It felt like pmt but that time ain’t due yet. I did get on with the day though but I am sure my husband noticed I was tense, distant & easily agitated. I feel like I am sinking into a depression. I don’t know if this is a result of not having alcohol to look forward to or this is the depression I have been masking with alcohol & the alcohol is now removed I am left with these feelings I have been running away from. It’s hard I feel life has no meaning for me at the moment. Yes my son needs me but the joy I should feel isn’t there.
Well this is a depressing post but here is where I tell the truth. The truth is I feel so so sad at the moment & I don’t know how to build myself up. Still I haven’t drank so that is something but I do know that the drink took this feeling away obviously & even the looking forward to it all week pushed this sad feeling aside.
Yet again let’s see what tomorrow brings. I think the weekdays are easier as they usually were my non drinking days & there is more distractions of work, school pickup & routine. My husband starts a new work shift 2pm – 10pm from tomorrow & when he told me this evening I was secretly happy as I just feel like I want to be on my own at the moment.
Empty Bottles 