So I have missed a few days of posting on here. I haven’t gone back to the bottle !! Phew! I was just really busy with no chance to sit with the laptop & type. The week went fine – it was my husband’s Birthday yesterday & this would usually trigger a drinking session even if it was for me alone but we had a family evening together with no booze.

This morning I woke up feeling lost & low. Saturday would usually be me jumping out of bed with a smile on my face for the day as it was drinking night. This morning I knew I no longer had that to look forward to. I also felt so disappointed that this was how I felt that with a lovely family & nice life that this was the thing that I feel gives me happiness.  The high from not drinking had lowered & maybe reality kicked in that this is how it is going to be that the excitement & anticipation of the drinking at the weekend is gone.What do I have to look forward to? It’s Groundhog Day now. Maybe it’s just how I feel today – I am hoping as time goes on & I get used to this new life I can accept this.

I am lost as what to do today- planning on cleaning the house, do some dance practice, spend time with the family but it doesn’t excite me or fulfill me. Maybe years of this cycle of drinking has ruined my ability to feel properly.

I’ll post tomorrow- maybe it will be a better day x