So it’s the weekend which means trigger time. I have had thoughts creep in today every now & then about having no alcohol this weekend & a feeling of small disappointment. I’m afraid the evenings might feel a bit boring- Saturdays I would usually awake thinking yay I can drink tonight, get a takeaway, watch a film with my husband- it would be the thing I would most look forward to all week. This ain’t living.
Tomorrow we plan on taking our son to a cafe for a weekend treat of a big slice of cake & to do some shopping, later cuddles & movie night with my husband minus the booze. What I have noticed about myself is that I have to have something to look forward to & the drink was my number one thing – that now has to be replaced by something. It’s not like drink was everything in my life. I have my family, a new job I love, I am a dance performer in my spare time, a good set of friend ( although they love to drink ) – I exercise almost daily but nothing makes me beam with happiness & I think it must be all those years of drinking has numbed my ability to feel in every way. I’m hoping this will change that I can live life & be content & happy.
I spent years & years caught in this cycle -what I am trying to keep in my thought is in a few months time I will feel amazing at my achievement – I will be normal – well kinda normal 😀
XX
Empty Bottles 
Dysphoria, the inability to feel joy, is a normal part of early recovery. We overstimulated our brain’s pleasure centers for a long time, desensitizing them and causing us to need more and more stimulation to get the desired effect. That culminated in circumstances where we were damned if we didn’t, and got no real satisfaction if we did.
The good news is, our pleasure centers will recover eventually IF we remain abstinent. The happiness and occasional joy will return. In fact, many of us, if we work on ourselves, will feel it for the first time ever. As George Carlin wrote, however, “Just because the monkey is off your back, it doesn’t mean the circus has left town!” Post Acute Withdrawal can last for quite a while.
Go here for more information on Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome: https://goo.gl/bzDJws, and
Keep on keepin’ on!
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Hi Bill,
Thank you for your reply. I can feel positivity starting to flow in. I actually believe a lot of me being able to deal with my drinking this time round has been listening to Eckhart Tolle as he says to watch your thoughts & let them go as they are just thoughts & that we are not to identify ourselves with our thoughts – practicing this has enabled me to watch the thought instead of being the thought & telling myself – don’t let the thought to drink control you.
I need to find the time to meditate it’s hard with a busy life but I have to fit it into my day. Next task is to find some meditative music to play to drown out the sounds of the busy street etc..
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You might also consider the “White Noise” app for your phone. It comes with a selection called “Brown Noise” that I use a lot simply for background and screening, with my Bluetooth speaker and from the phone itself. Personally, I find that music, unless it’s super-abstract to the point of nearly not qualifying as music, distracts me when I’m trying to meditate. The exception is shakuhatchi, the Japanese bamboo flute, which is abstract/different enough from western forms that I can listen without getting caught up in it and distracted from my breathing.
Dif’rent strokes for different folks. And I’ve been meditating daily for fifteen years. That makes a difference, too, so find something comfortable and go with it. There’s no wrong way to meditate, and even distractions are good in their way, because they teach us to let them pass and get on with “it”, whatever it happens to be. However we do it, meditation carries over beautifully to daily life and mindful living.
More…https://goo.gl/VqLwdn
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